Help! I’m Married To My Pastor: A Book Review

Have you ever felt lonely as a pastor’s wife? Have you ever wished for a friend you can be around and be able to take off the “pastor’s wife” hat? Reading through Jani Ortlund’s new book, “Help! I’m Married to My Pastor”, I felt like I was sitting down having coffee with that friend. Her many years experience as a pastor’s wife and gracious, light-hearted, truthful spirit delivers so many good reminders to the weary, lonely and sometimes forgotten wife of a man in ministry. 

From the chaotic Sunday mornings, to the strain on your marriage, to the hurt and discouragement ministry can bring at times, she’s been through it all. She answers questions we all have, but may be afraid to ask. She comes along and “puts her arm around us” to encourage in areas we all grow tired. She reminds us that even though the life we live can be hard, it is good and rewarding. 

She shows us how Sunday morning’s can actually be our families favorite time of the week. It doesn’t have to be the most stressful morning. I loved some of the practical ideas Jani gives for things we can do on Sunday mornings to help our kids learn to love and appreciate this often hectic day. 

How do you navigate all the expectations people can put on you and your kids? Is it fair that everyone seems to hold your family to a higher standard than the rest of the church? In “Help! I’m Married To My Pastor” we see that what our churches really need instead of the perfect pastor’s wife is a family who is wholeheartedly pursuing God in the middle of the messy realities that we all face as parents.

What do you do when your husband seems to be depressed? How do you bear the weight of that? This is one area I often feel the loneliest. Being a pastor’s wife, I don’t have many friends outside of our church, so how do I share with my church family the fear and burden of carrying this depression with my husband? The chapter addressing this topic was one of the most influential for me. 

Who can you talk to when your marriage is struggling? Surely, the pastor and his wife have a perfect marriage…right? We are not alone in our struggles and the few chapters regarding marriage help us see we can have a happy and satisfying marriage because we have the hope and promise of a happy and satisfying relationship with Christ. 

Jani does such an incredible job of answering all these questions by sharing her experiences and constantly pointing us back to scripture. This was a quick and easy read, and it will sharpen and encourage you in the life God has called you. Take heart, fellow pastor’s wife, you are not alone, and help from someone whose been in your shoes is available.

I received a free digital version of this book in exchange for an honest review.

You can pick up a copy here!


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